My Fears About College

My Fears About College

What you should and shouldn't fear about attending college

So, about this time last year, I was absolutely freaking out about college. I mean, it was pretty understandable. I was going to a new state that I had only visited once, in a new climate, a new culture, and a new stage of life with no older siblings or friends to give me any advice! So for those of you headed out of state, 15 minutes from home, with no older mentor to give you advice, or the siblings who don't want to take advice from their family, I'm here to tell you about what I feared the most going into college and what actually happened once I got here.

Culture Shock

One thing you should know about my school is that there are people from ALL OVER THE WORLD! But because the students are mostly from Utah, Idaho, Arizona, Texas and California, I knew I was in for a culture shock. I was afraid my midwest slang would be unwelcome, or that I would be on the outside of a lot of inside jokes. 

One thing I failed to recognize was that I wasn't going to be the only one around NOT from one of the main 5 states! There ended up being 1 girl from Ohio, 1 from Michigan, and like 5 from North Carolina on my floor alone! There was a bit of a culture shock with how sober the campus was and not hearing curse words or drugs and alcohol being a common occurrence, but I actually really enjoyed getting to know the norms of other states as well as finding the similarities between my slang and other slang. Once you really get to be around people a lot and make new friends, you can create your own slang. 

Clothing

I searched just about every picture and every article on Pinterest about how to dress in Utah or how to dress in college. I thought maybe some of my more eccentric pieces would be seen as weird, or my preppy pieces to be seen as "stuck up". I feel like other schools seem to have a stereotype as to how everyone else dresses, or you at least know someone going to that university so you can social media stalk them to see what they wear. Well, unlike Miami University in Miami, OH where everyone dresses preppy, BYU did not have a single stereo type that I could find on the internet. I knew of the Honor Code and how that put a strict set of standards on what could and couldn't be worn on campus, the rest was left up to my judgement. 

So what did I do? I took ALL my clothes. They barely fit in the closet, and even on my first day in Utah, I was stressed. I was comparing myself to everyone else I came in contact with, I freaked out about what to wear in my ID picture (even though you only see maybe 3 inches of fabric from my shirt) and I still couldn't pick up a particular trend that seemed to be "in". What I came to find out about BYU was that it was so diverse, THERE WAS NO TREND! Other than the BYU swag that everyone seemed to have in common on game day, there was no right thing to wear! (Trust me, there is a wrong and there are plenty of people dressing like they were homeschooled their whole life but that's to be expected among a select few in a Mormon community) In general, everyone just rocked a look that they stuck to and no one thought anything different about it. Hipster? Be a full out hipster. Thrift store eclectic modern chic? Awesome! More power to you! Preppy and southern? Flaunt those pearls! Just pick something you love and own it! It's amazing how people will appreciate your style the more you own it. Just wear what makes you happy!

Making Friends

Leaving everything and everyone I know to go to school for several months at a time was probably one of the scariest things for me in the transition to college. When I'm comfortable, I'm a huge extrovert, but I do have some social anxiety in new circumstances. So having to make all new friends and knowing no one before hand was an intimidating task. 

Can I just say, I found the most amazing friends my freshman year, and I am so grateful for them. But  instead of going on an on about how amazing they are and all the cool things we've done (maybe another blog post later?) I've been reflecting on how I met all these great people and what I did in order to make so many awesome friends. 

Ok, so I might seem like a huge nerd, but the first thing I did was buy a package of Oreos and pretty much drag my roommate out of the room before dinner on move-in day and just knock on every door in the hallway and offer Oreos to everyone we met. Did I make any life-long friends that night? No. Get anyone to go with me to dinner? No, but the girls on my floor have told me that they remember when we stopped by on that first day and how they knew my name and face from that day on and also had a very positive opinion of me and my roommate. Later, when we were able to get to know one another better, we already had a pretty good foundation. Living in the dorms was my saving grace. I was able to have so many opportunities to get to know people on my floor and spend a lot of time with them without ever leaving my hallway. 

Once I got to know a few pretty sweet girls, we made a group message to pretty much set up times to get meals together or invite people to go on adventures. Saying yes to going on spontaneous adventures were ways that I was really able to bond with my new found friends. Also extending the invitation myself, while it didn't always work out, was a good way to get over my social anxiety and feel more like I was at home with my old friends.

To meet other people outside of my hall, all I can really say is get involved. I play French Horn, so I auditioned for the Symphonic Band and made some pretty cool friends that ultimately got me a couple dates and some pretty sweet parties/event invites. I went to church every Sunday, participated in my church events and tried to go to every social function put on by the school that seemed worth going to. Check out club night, go swing dancing with that girl on your hall you kind of know. There's a dance put on by your residence hall? Take a few friends or roommates and go! You may not meet new people every time, but you will have a lot more fun than you would if you spent the night inside watching Netflix. Don't get me wrong, a Netflix binge is therapeutic every once in a while, but people won't get to know you if you lock yourself up every free minute you have. Take a risk and get out of the house! Every time I've taken one of those risks, it's worked out pretty well. 

Roommate Problems

Guys, I don't think you understand how much I freaked out when I first found out who my roommate was. I was chilling in the Magic Kingdom on spring break when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "Hey! Im your roommate at BYU this fall, Millie!" I was so excited to start getting to know her, but when I began scrolling through her Instagram and Facebook page, I instantly flipped. I seriously don't know anyone else in this world so different in personality from me than Millie. (While still being a kind and good person at least) She is an introvert, I'm not. She is minimalistic, I'm not. She likes music I didn't even know existed because I'm too busy listening to my annoying pop tunes and musical theater. (I like my music, but I know I have a crappy taste in music) I am very orderly and can't stand my room or things to be out of order for too long, while she's not a slob, she isn't so bothered by a mess like I am. Seriously though, we laugh about how incredibly different we are all of the time. Don't get me wrong, we do have plenty of things in common like our religion, that we're the oldest sibling, and our appreciation for Ke$a (My guilty pleasure). When I was wanting to coordinate our room decor, I can remember completely freaking out because she didn't seem to care what our room looked like and her taste was so different from mine. I was devastated. She was also from Utah, so I figured she would have a lot of people that she knew at BYU and she would go home a lot, so I wouldn't have anyone to go to dinner or parties with. 

But when push comes to shove, we made it through. I was never sick of her, I was never overly annoyed with her (There will always be something that might get on each other's nerves every once in a while, but never enough to cause an argument) and when you're both concerned with being considerate of the other, you tend to get along fine. Honestly, we are great friends now. We aren't inseparable and I definitely feel closer to a few of my other friends, but there was nothing to be afraid of. I've been told having a roommate is a little like marriage. If you work hard at making it work, be considerate of the other's needs, and communicate, you'll make it through the year. And if you aren't best friends at the end of it all, that's ok. You just have to live with each other for a year. If you do get unlucky and find yourself with a slob, inconsiderate, spoiled, all over bad person (not very likely) then hey, you're forced to get out and make more friends! So that's a plus!

That's a Wrap!

So, those were my main concerns about leaving for college. (I know, academics should be #1, but sorry, that was my last worry) I hope this will be able to help some of you prospective freshmen. I know it's a little cliche, but honestly, all the advice you see on every Pinterest post is so true. Just do you and play it by ear. You'll be fine. I mean, most people make it out of college just fine. My parting words of wisdom would be this: Don't wait for things to happen to you. Be proactive and get stuff done. You may never get to know that really cute and nice guy in your band if you don't first open up and show an interest in him. Be yourself and everything will work out the way it is supposed to be. Ciao!

Why is David John Hall so different?

So, it turns out that when I applied to be an RA in Heleman Halls next year, I figured that I would be living in either Hinckley again or maybe in one of the other girls halls that are the same layout. However, this was not the case and it turns out that for the 2016-2017 school year at BYU Provo, I will be living in David John 1100 hall. I found out that there are actually zero pictures of the inside of the rooms in David John and pretty much no information about the rooms anywhere (or at least the kind of information that I would like) so I will have to be contacting someone living there currently if I can check out their rooms before I leave this semester. But after a quick tour of the hall and maybe a bit of wandering every hall, I have come across some details about what makes David John different from every other dorm building in Heleman.

Accessibility

One thing about David John is that it does not have an elevator. This shouldn't be a problem for me since I will be on the first floor next year, but I feel deeply sorry for anyone who is on the third floor on move in/out day. 

Room Layout

The obvious difference is that it is a suite-style dorm. Residents share a bedroom with one roommate, and then share a bathroom with the two girls next door to them. The sink area is separated from the shower and toilet by a door, so you can be brushing your teeth or blow-drying your hair while your roommate is taking a shower. The one bad thing though is that the bathroom is small, but so is your bedroom. There is hardly any room to do anything but sleep and sit at your desk. You're going to have to get creative with storage and multi-purpose items.

Extra Loung Space

Because bathrooms are within the walls of your dorm, boys are allowed on the hall during the same times they are allowed in the lobby area of any building (8 am-midnight all nights and 8 am-1:30 am Fridays) Visitors can either wander the halls during this time or chill in your floor's very own lounge area! I thought this was so neat when I first toured the halls. The thing is, the lobby of Hinckley this year was the place for ward prayer, meeting up with FHE groups, and then all of the couples. It was never the ideal place to study. But even though boys can be in that lounge, it had more of a private feel than the lobby did. PLUS you only have to share it with about 36 girls! They are very roomy and have plenty of sitting space. 

BONUS!!!

In these lounge areas, there is a toaster, microwave, sink and cupboard space. Have a freezer meal you want to heat up real quick? Don't want to walk all the way to the lobby or to the basement? Awesome! You don't have to! You can also clean your dishes, iron your clothes (there is an ironing board and iron) or make some toast. There isn't much room to store dishes in your room, but if you trust the girls in your hall, you can just store them in the cupboards! Seriously, this is a great feature. While it's not a full kitchen, there is still an oven, stove and full fridge/freezer open to all residents in the basement.

Less People

I don't know if anyone really cares, but each hall has about 4 less people than a typical hall in the dorms. So that's less treats to bring to a hall activity and more opportunities to get close to the girls on your floor.

Drawbacks

The only things I can really think of without having lived there is the fact that 1. You have to clean your own bathroom (but you have three people to help you out), it costs a little more than the regular dorms and the rooms are significantly smaller than the other dorms. But honestly, you don't need to do much in your room except sleep, maybe do homework and take care of yourself.

Still a Dorm at Heleman

You have everything else that life at Heleman Halls offers. RHA activities, an RA, hall council, the Cannon Center and mini Creamery just a couple hundred feet from your room, 24/7 vending machine access, and there is also a parking lot right behind the building. Honestly, if you're worried about a community bathroom, I have never had to wait on a shower or toilet this year so if bathrooms are your concern, I don't know if David John is worth the extra $100 a month, but if you want that suite-style experience and are willing to pay more, GO FOR IT! 

If you are a freshman for the Fall-Winter year of 2016-2017 and are living in Heleman, Please contact me! I can answer your questions much better than the housing people can because I actually lived here and can tell you exactly what you need to hear. Please don't hesitate to shoot me an email with any question you might have! 

brittanystamas@gmail.com